I want​/​I need

by Andrew Bockus

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released January 24, 2016

All lyrics and music written, recorded, and produced by Andrew Bockus

Recorded with Garageband



all rights reserved


Andrew Bockus California

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Track Name: I want/I need
I'm a broken clock
I've no time for you or anyone

I can stand up straight
Keep my face pristine
But my hands hesitate
I'm stagnant underneath

I'm a weathervane
I go where the wind will blow me

The rain is going to come
I feel it in my knees
It spins me round and round
Wets my beak and wings

I'm not a mannequin
I can't stay in this position

I could bite my tongue
And I could grind my teeth
But I could change the world
If I had space to breathe
And I could take a walk
Or I could take my leave
And I could choose to chase
What I want and what I need
Track Name: to be a beachmaster
They're calling me out
I'll be there in a minute
I brought on the heat
Now I'm sinking in it

A beachmaster
I wanted to be a beachmaster

I paid for my keep
With bruises and stitches
Now this is my beach
And these are my bitches

A beach
A beachmaster
I wanted to be a beachmaster

I lie on the sand
No longer a swimmer
So few understand
What becomes of the winner

I wanted to be
A beachmaster

I won this world of wonder
But one must wonder what else there is to see beyond this beach

A beachmaster
Track Name: something else
What's that my inner senses?
Seems I've been sleeping
I've been a victim – pawn of the system too long
I'm clear on what innocence is
It's just about the same as insane
Every day the same – creature of habit no more

The decision isn't easy
I wrestle with myself
Is this the best for me
Or is there something else?

There's always something else
It's a blessing and a curse
There's something better
There's something worse

Oh how high this fence is
So tall that I can see
All the places I could be if I walk
A whiney man of privilege
I could buy more beans than any man could eat
But I don't know what I want

I don't know the course just yet
But I've seen this place before and I have no regrets

Life got in the way
Coming back from it
Track Name: to get by
If I try my hardest to get by
I suppose I'll make it on this road
It's blazed and worn by the travelers before
It's the only way they'd ever known

But I'm a washed up wreck with a yolk around my neck
A void is growing in my soul
Woe is me I could scream, but I'm discovering
That woe is everyone I know

So I take my ax and I strike out from the pack
To find another way to go
While the rest trudge on I will break into a run
And charge into the undergrowth

When I die I want to know I tried
To cut myself another road
So when they burn my bones and my ashes all have blown away
I'll say I made this life my own
Track Name: the time
I was just thinking of the time
I caught you winking and your eyes
Spheres of blue wane and wax and behind
All the mountains I wanted to climb
All the truths that I wanted to find

I was just dreaming of the day
All of my fears went away
Swallowed up in the shrouds of perfume
And the lumens rose up in the room
All the squirrels and birds start to sing
That I had it going my way
That I had it coming to me

I can remember the time
You walking towards me
Kept on walking by 'cause I didn't say
All the things that I wanted to say to you
All the things that I wanted to play out
All the ways that I wanted to go
All the things that I wanted to know

It's too late
And there's nothing, nothing for me

I was just thinking of the time
Track Name: bicycle
I want to be with a girl who rides a bicycle
Her pant leg rolled up, tank top is full
She's on a low emission mission and she's getting there
She doesn't care what they think about her helmet hair

Ride on

I want to be with a girl who rides a bicycle
I've been spending too much time with chemicals
I want to ride for miles, I want to ride for days
I want to ride with her, she wants to ride with me

And if she falls down, she's going to bleed bleed bleed
It's worth the risk to feel the breeze breeze breeze

What I need is a girl who rides a bicycle
She knows her way around town, she takes on only what she can handle
She can teach me the ways of simplicity
As we bike our way through the city

Ride on

I want to be with a girl who rides a bicycle
I can't help but watch her power up that hill
Glutes of steel, iron lungs in a sports bra
She's pure green energy: powered by ethanol

I want to be with a girl who rides a bicycle
Track Name: enough close friends
My pillow is soft my pillow is clean but it won't talk to me
My TV talks but it won't laugh or go for walks with me
My dog will walk but she won't kiss, she'll piss upon the street
I bought a kiss a chocolate kiss – delicious – melted on me

And what I'm trying to say
Is I want something more than something I can pay for
I want someone to say my name
When I slip into bed at 2 AM a drunken mess

I've got enough got enough close friends
And I walk alone when the party ends
When push comes to shove I've been longing for love
And I've got enough got enough close friends

My eyes will close but I won't doze without the symphony
Of restless rolls and warmth of clothes here lying next to me
I cool my jets by cruising on the internet
I send a set of texts to see if you are missing it
I work my pecs to impress you when I see you next
But I lack the flexibility to ease my stress
Track Name: satisfaction
Wake up
You'll never be the way you see yourself in all your dreams
Chances are you'll still add up to something
Grow up
Your childhood is gone, but you can giggle, you can play, and you can sob
Once the job is done. Once you're alone

Cheer up
You won't always smile, but I can promise you'll be happy for a while
Satisfaction is the trip not the destination
Get up
From broken planes and bones, lactic acid, plot holes, magnets
Tragic, but sometimes you can't go home


And now I find
I can change my mind
All the sings that I have songed
All the words that I have wronged
Are all behind me now

Set up
Those pictures on display and reminisce about the way you saw today
When today had been a long time coming
Blow up
Those books and earned degrees, it seems our hearts are all we need
Brains are made to control the pumping
Track Name: someone for company
When you call me up I'll run
Wrap you up in loving arms
I say when not if because
I know you love me

When we wake up to the sun
Still wrapped up in loving arms
We've got everything we want
And all we need

The mountains, sun, and sea
Sangria pool party
The song and melody
Someone for company

Simple wishes
Wash the dishes

When I drift off to my dream
Nothing’s changed - still you and me
We've got everything we want
And all we need