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I want​/​I need

by Andrew Bockus

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1.
I'm a broken clock I've no time for you or anyone I can stand up straight Keep my face pristine But my hands hesitate I'm stagnant underneath I'm a weathervane I go where the wind will blow me The rain is going to come I feel it in my knees It spins me round and round Wets my beak and wings I'm not a mannequin I can't stay in this position I could bite my tongue And I could grind my teeth But I could change the world If I had space to breathe And I could take a walk Or I could take my leave And I could choose to chase What I want and what I need
2.
They're calling me out I'll be there in a minute I brought on the heat Now I'm sinking in it A beachmaster I wanted to be a beachmaster I paid for my keep With bruises and stitches Now this is my beach And these are my bitches A beach A beachmaster I wanted to be a beachmaster I lie on the sand No longer a swimmer So few understand What becomes of the winner I wanted to be A beachmaster I won this world of wonder But one must wonder what else there is to see beyond this beach A beachmaster
3.
What's that my inner senses? Seems I've been sleeping I've been a victim – pawn of the system too long I'm clear on what innocence is It's just about the same as insane Every day the same – creature of habit no more The decision isn't easy I wrestle with myself Is this the best for me Or is there something else? There's always something else It's a blessing and a curse There's something better There's something worse Oh how high this fence is So tall that I can see All the places I could be if I walk A whiney man of privilege I could buy more beans than any man could eat But I don't know what I want I don't know the course just yet But I've seen this place before and I have no regrets Life got in the way Coming back from it
4.
to get by 02:14
If I try my hardest to get by I suppose I'll make it on this road It's blazed and worn by the travelers before It's the only way they'd ever known But I'm a washed up wreck with a yolk around my neck A void is growing in my soul Woe is me I could scream, but I'm discovering That woe is everyone I know So I take my ax and I strike out from the pack To find another way to go While the rest trudge on I will break into a run And charge into the undergrowth When I die I want to know I tried To cut myself another road So when they burn my bones and my ashes all have blown away I'll say I made this life my own
5.
the time 02:16
I was just thinking of the time I caught you winking and your eyes Spheres of blue wane and wax and behind All the mountains I wanted to climb All the truths that I wanted to find I was just dreaming of the day All of my fears went away Swallowed up in the shrouds of perfume And the lumens rose up in the room All the squirrels and birds start to sing That I had it going my way That I had it coming to me I can remember the time You walking towards me Kept on walking by 'cause I didn't say All the things that I wanted to say to you All the things that I wanted to play out All the ways that I wanted to go All the things that I wanted to know It's too late And there's nothing, nothing for me I was just thinking of the time
6.
bicycle 04:01
I want to be with a girl who rides a bicycle Her pant leg rolled up, tank top is full She's on a low emission mission and she's getting there She doesn't care what they think about her helmet hair Ride on I want to be with a girl who rides a bicycle I've been spending too much time with chemicals I want to ride for miles, I want to ride for days I want to ride with her, she wants to ride with me And if she falls down, she's going to bleed bleed bleed It's worth the risk to feel the breeze breeze breeze What I need is a girl who rides a bicycle She knows her way around town, she takes on only what she can handle She can teach me the ways of simplicity As we bike our way through the city Ride on I want to be with a girl who rides a bicycle I can't help but watch her power up that hill Glutes of steel, iron lungs in a sports bra She's pure green energy: powered by ethanol I want to be with a girl who rides a bicycle
7.
My pillow is soft my pillow is clean but it won't talk to me My TV talks but it won't laugh or go for walks with me My dog will walk but she won't kiss, she'll piss upon the street I bought a kiss a chocolate kiss – delicious – melted on me And what I'm trying to say Is I want something more than something I can pay for I want someone to say my name When I slip into bed at 2 AM a drunken mess I've got enough got enough close friends And I walk alone when the party ends When push comes to shove I've been longing for love And I've got enough got enough close friends My eyes will close but I won't doze without the symphony Of restless rolls and warmth of clothes here lying next to me I cool my jets by cruising on the internet I send a set of texts to see if you are missing it I work my pecs to impress you when I see you next But I lack the flexibility to ease my stress
8.
satisfaction 04:55
Wake up You'll never be the way you see yourself in all your dreams Chances are you'll still add up to something Grow up Your childhood is gone, but you can giggle, you can play, and you can sob Once the job is done. Once you're alone Cheer up You won't always smile, but I can promise you'll be happy for a while Satisfaction is the trip not the destination Get up From broken planes and bones, lactic acid, plot holes, magnets Tragic, but sometimes you can't go home Sentimental And now I find I can change my mind All the sings that I have songed All the words that I have wronged Are all behind me now Set up Those pictures on display and reminisce about the way you saw today When today had been a long time coming Blow up Those books and earned degrees, it seems our hearts are all we need Brains are made to control the pumping
9.
When you call me up I'll run Wrap you up in loving arms I say when not if because I know you love me When we wake up to the sun Still wrapped up in loving arms We've got everything we want And all we need The mountains, sun, and sea Sangria pool party The song and melody Someone for company Simple wishes Wash the dishes When I drift off to my dream Nothing’s changed - still you and me We've got everything we want And all we need

credits

released January 24, 2016

All lyrics and music written, recorded, and produced by Andrew Bockus

Recorded with Garageband

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Andrew Bockus California

Andrew Bockus is a chemist, runner, and musician based in California.

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